


When All Else Fades

by unrestricted_obsessions



Series: When All Else Fades, Will You Return to Me? [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Bilbo Baggins, I'm Sorry, Implied Relationships, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me, Pre-Relationship, oops well isn't this a cheerful tag section
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrestricted_obsessions/pseuds/unrestricted_obsessions
Summary: Bilbo remembers.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Series: When All Else Fades, Will You Return to Me? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054544
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	When All Else Fades

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hands](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715661) by [AngelynMoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon). 



> Yes, this is part of a series. No, I haven't written the rest yet, but it will be arriving soon. As always, feedback/constructive criticism is welcome and encouraged. Keep an eye out for new parts and I hope you enjoy!

Erebor. Around about a year ago, if you had asked Bilbo if he could have come to love a rowdy kingdom of dwarves located within a solitary mountain (not to mention having to have been reclaimed from a _dragon_ ) he would have subtly declared your insanity before politely encouraging you to leave his home, for that was what a respected hobbit of Bag End would do. If you had asked him the very same question a few months ago, in the midst of an altogether unexpected journey, he might have made a witty remark about his hairs possibly greying far too soon if he were to live with such obstinate dwarrow, though he would have said it with a fond smile, and he would have wanted nothing more.

Now, however, with his only memories of the Lonely Mountain being sickness, agony and despair, he doubted he could ever come to love such a place, no matter how grand or wonderful it may grow to be. The memories would haunt him terribly, and there would be no hands to comfort him, no arms to hold him, no rare smile reserved for him, no crown of corruption that was set aside, and above all else, no eyes to express all thoughts and emotions, not there to assure him of sanity and sincerity. There would be no Thorin alongside him if he were to stay, and that would be too much pain to live with. Bilbo was sure he could never move on in such circumstances, though part of him didn't want to.

So he had left, attempting a discretion that he knew was unfair to the remaining Company, but was all that he could bring himself to do. Oin had been working endlessly for weeks, trying with all his might to keep Thorin breathing, which had succeeded, but no signs of healing or waking were ever shown. None had spoken on the matter, but it was clear what they were all thinking, the hope they were all losing. The last thing he had done before departing was to visit the King once more, whispering apologies and hesitantly leaving the lightest of kisses upon his cheek. The coldness of the skin that greeted him was too much to bear, and he had finally let out unrestrained sobs. Alas, his efforts were useless after all, and the Company approached him for their farewells.

It only made everything that much more difficult.

Nonetheless, he returned to the Shire, to the rolling hills of the kindly West. Bag End awaited him at his arrival (not without its changes) and the initial emptiness of the place he had once called his home resonated with him. Isn't that what Gandalf had said? 'If you return, you will not be the same'? Oh, how right he had been. If only Bilbo had been more stubborn, like that of his dwarf friends. Though he supposed he never could regret leaving, it was only the ending he wished he could have changed.

And that was all, the bittersweet feeling of the world moving on ordinarily despite such a horrible loss remained, distracting the hobbit from his books, making his armchair stiff and uncomfortable, and causing his garden to become neglected, all but a simple growing sprout of an Oak tree, which was tended to with care and many tears. The one he had treasured since Beorn's house, the acorn that had broken Thorin's madness, if only for a moment, was steadily growing in Dale, an action the hobbit had often regretted, but this was an acorn he had found in the shadows of Erebor's peak, so it would have to do. All of Hobbiton was aware of these major changes in the Baggins, and gossip soon followed much as ever, yet still none knew the truth.

Bilbo remembered. When all else faded, that was all he was left to do.


End file.
